May 30th, 2006 by Jimmy Bones
The Greatest World Cup Preview in the History of The World: Group A
If there is one thing that I know everything about its soccer (or footy as I like to call it). I was going to save my unbelievable knowledge and make huge bucks betting all these games but being the kind guy that I am I’ve decided to share. That’s right, you are about to read the ULTIMATE World Cup Preview, exclusively on The Health Scratch.
Today, we’ll look at Group A:
POLAND
Fifa Ranking: 26
Elo Ranking: 20
Famous Polish People You Might Know: Andrew Golota, Killer Kowalski, Krystof Oliwa.
Outlook: The Poles are a good, not great team. There pre-tourney games have been up and down, they have a few losses but they TOTALLY DESTROYED future world power Faroe Islands 4-0. Eat it Faroe Islands. Anyways.. they’ll finish anywhere from 2nd to 4th…. I say.. 2nd, mainly because there is no way I’m picking either of the other team to make it past the 1st round.
GERMANY
FIFA Ranking: 19
Elo Ranking: 11
Famous German People You Might Know: Bruce Lee (Wikipedia says his grandfather was German), Boris Becker, Steffi Graf, Dartardly Dirk Nowitzki, Michael Schumacher
Outlook: In what looks like the most rigged lottery selection since the Knicks got Patrick Ewing, Germany got put in a group with a bunch of teams who they should be able to beat. Germany isn’t exactly a powerhouse this year but with home field (pitch?) advantage, they’ll be a tough draw for anyone. Germany will win Pool A. They better stop whipping my peeps from Luxemberg in friendlies if they want my support though. If you want to destory some tiny country go play Faroe Islands or something.
COSTA RICA
FIFA Ranking: 25
Elo Ranking: 38
Famous Costa Ricians you might know: No one. Seriously. Come on Costa Ricians.. do something.
Outlook: If you take a girl to Costa Rica, you’ll probably score, these Costa Ricians, not so much. Lame jokes aside, they’re getting beat in every friendly game they played. They lost to freaking IRAN, which means they suck. Costa Rica, you will finish last and lose every game.
ECUADOR
FIFA Ranking: 38
Elo Ranking: 45
Famous umm Ecuadorians you might know: Eduardo Hurtado (I’m not sure why, but I’ve heard of this guy)
Outlook: I was all ready to pick these guys as my sleeper pick and then they lost to Marcedonia in their final tune-up game. I didn’t even know Marcedonia existed, so I assume this is a bad thing. They have garbage rankings, but they qualified over Columbia and Uruguay, so they can’t be that terrible. I’ll give them one win and a high five for the good times.
Group A Standings:
Germany
Poland
Ecuador
Costa Rica
Warning: I know nothing about soccer. I’ve watched perhaps 3 games in my life, but I’m pretty freaking good at those FIFA video games.
RELATED POSTS
Leave a Reply