June 2nd, 2006 by Jimmy Bones
The Greatest World Cup Preview in the History of the World: Group C
I don’t have anything to write about in this opening spiel, so instead here’s a video of a goalie scoring a goal.
Holy frick that’s awesome.
Onto Group C:
ARGENTINA
FIFA Ranking: 9
Elo Ranking: 8
Why I like Argentina: Those baby blue uni’s are pretty nifty. Their big soccer legend is a druggie.
Why I don’t like Argentina: People tell me they play boring soccer, considering its soccer we are talking about, its must be pretty freaking boring.
Outlook: I’m picking them to finish… THIRD! and not qualify. I have no good reason for this, but have I ever led you astray before.
COTE D’IVOIRE
FIFA Ranking: 32
Elo Ranking: 30
Why I like Cote D’Ivoire: One Africian team usually surprises at these things. My main man Gilles Yapi Yapo is on this team.
Why I don’t like Cote D’Ivoire: Cote D’Ivoire? Come on now, whats wrong with Ivory Coast. How dare you insult my language.
Outlook: Three and out.
SERBIA and MONTENEGRO
FIFA Ranking: 44
Elo Ranking: 26
Why I like Serbia-Montenegro: The ringer has connections to this place, and his teams always luck out at these suckers. Their own country (or countries) barely even like them, as evidenced by the half empty stadium at their final friendly.
Why I don’t like Serbia-Montenegro: Is this one country or two? Are they cheating?
Outlook: Surprise team of the 1st round, 2nd place and advancing.
NETHERLANDS
FIFA Ranking: 3
Elo Ranking: 2
Why I like Netherlands: Orange uniforms! Need I say more.
Why I don’t like Netherlands: They always seem to choke it up at these things, but still with Orange uniforms I can’t stay mad at them.
Outlook: Winning this group and looking snazzy while doing it.
Group C Standings:
Netherlands
Serbia and Montenegro
Argentina
Cote D’Ivoire
Reminder: I’m the smartest man alive but I never watch, nor do I know anything about soccer.
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